Monday, April 23, 2012

Lost and Found

It was a simple errand after work.

Somewhere amongst the weaving in and out of the aisles, I dropped my keys and didn’t know it until I was out the door and heading back to my car.  I rummaged and didn’t find, so I headed back to the store. 
Nice manager man had already found them and told me that he’d called the number and someone was on their way to pick them up, so I should call them to let them know that they dind’t have to bother.  You see, when Coco went to doggy heaven, I couldn’t bear to part with his dog tag and for a long time just had his collar and tag rolling about on the floor of my passenger seat.  Then I took the dog tag off the collar and hooked it on to my keys in place of a keychain.  The added benefit is that it has my parents’ phone number on it, so losing them means they are likely going to get back to me with little delay (how hadn’t I thought of this before?) and sure enough, that’s exactly what happened.

For now, though, I needed to call home and let my parents know that I’d already recovered my briefly lost keys and they didn’t need to come to the store to get them.
I’ve recreated the phone call to the best of my recollection.  The italics are my thoughts, though never voiced.

It went like so:
Dad:       Hello?

Me:        Hi, Pop.  Hey, did you just get a call about my keys?
Dad:       Yeah.

Me:        Yeah, don’t worry; I just picked them up so you don’t have to come down here.
Dad:       You have them?

Me:        Yeah, I noticed they were missing when I was in the parking lot, so I just came back in the store and they had them.
Dad:       Why did they call here?

Me:        Because I have Coco’s dog tag as a keychain, so they were able to call your number.
Mom:    (clicks on a second phone) What’s going on?

Me:        I found my keys, you don’t have to come get them.
Dad:       Why did they say something about Coco?

Me:        Because I’m using Coco’s dog tag as a key chain and it has your phone number on the back.
Mom:    They mentioned Coco and keys and we don’t understand why they called us.

Dad:       This is all very suspicious, who had your keys?
Me:        The people at the store found my keys.

Mom:    Why didn’t you have your keys with you?
Me:        I must have dropped them somewhere and didn’t notice!  Good heavens, I’m explaining what “lost” means…!

Mom:    Where are you?
Me:        I’m at the store! 

Mom:    What are you doing at the store?
Me:        What?! Panning for gold… I had to get something.

Mom:    What are you getting?
Me:        A panda.  I’m getting a panda and putting it on my head.  How is this line of questioning in any way relevant?!  It doesn’t matter, mom.   A thing, I was getting a thing.

Dad:       I don’t understand why they called us… Where are your keys now?
Me:        They are in my hands! I have my keys now!

Dad:       So, they’re not lost?
Me:        How is this a mystery?!  I lost my keys as I was shopping, the people working here found them and used the phone number on Coco’s dog tag which I have as a keychain to call you and in the meantime I noticed they were missing, came in to look for them and have been reunited with my keys.  So I’m fine, I’m not dead, I have my keys, and I’m going home now.

Dad:       Ok.

Sheesh.