Darn That Bad Apple...

I do like my job.

I work with some pretty exceptional people and my position is such that it allows for both analytical thinking as well as variety in problem solving. Two things that keep me mentally stimulated and, therefore, invested.

We're a relatively young crowd, averaging in the 30s, and that's from the production line right up to the owner of the company. What this means is that we all come to the table with a tendency to think creatively and acknowledge more than one solution for any given challenge. We don't operate on traditional limitations.

At the same time, it's a small enough company that we all wear many hats which requires flexibility and some fast thinking. Truth be told, it's a sink-or-swim kind of place. There is little to no training for any given position, requiring everyone to be of the pro-active type, resourceful and independent. It's not the kind of place where you can sit on a problem and hope someone else resolves it. Gotta get your hands dirty. We're constantly and speedily moving forward, forward, forward. If you don't hold on, you could get whiplash.

What this means is that it takes all of about 4 hours to size someone up. Constant contact and collaboration with many departments means that you get to know your colleagues very quickly and to identify your resources right away. This also means that the weak link gets flagged like a young wildebeest to a pride of lions.

For the most part, I'm a passive person. I tend to get my cues externally. I'm perfectly content to stay in the background and work in a team. However, if the moment calls for it, I have no hesitation in picking up the reigns of a situation, bringing out the Alpha in me. It's all about the balance in a room. If there's an Alpha in charge, I can defer. If one is needed, I can step up.

The part I'm not proud about is that if there's an Omega involved, the Alpha in me becomes acutely aware. I swear, it has to be chemical because as much as I'm a relatively amiable person to deal with, I have no tolerance for weakness.

Today was about dealing with incompetence that was doubly irksome because it was incompetence from an Omega. This kind of combination has a mortifying result for me. It brings out the worst in me. Not in behavior, but in mindset. What I mean is that I don't like who I am and how I think about the person. I find that it is easy for me to be dismissive of him, assigning no redeemable value, whatsoever. I know this is an unfair conclusion, I'm rational enough to know that this is inaccurate, unfair, and ungenerous of me. I do acknowledge that. But, like I said, it seems to be purely chemical, emotionally, and then the flames get fanned with the incompetence.

Today was frustrating. I like my job. I like the people I work with. But there's a wrench in the system and I have little patience for such nonsense.