Shiny Objects

I'm finding it hard to concentrate today.

Like the dang dog in Up, I'm in the middle of something and....SQUIRREL!

Present and Accounted For

Yeah, yeah, I'm still here. I've just not yet resolved the computer issues.

I was this close to getting a new laptop and having my newly found geek work on it, when my car decided to get sick. I took it to the car hospital and found myself shelling out for the bill.

The same week, I bought plane tickets for my upcoming trip in a couple of months.

So there's been a significant amount of spending this month. I had it and was able to cover the expenses as well as having enough left over for the laptop if I really need it, but I decided to better pace myself and hold out a little bit until next month when I can calculate it into that budget instead.

We can make it. Just a couple more days and I'll have a new number to work with.

This Oughta Be Good...

I will now attempt to eat a grapefruit.

Wish me luck.

Quips From Work

I periodically clean out or archive my email in-box at work so as to keep organized. I did some of that, recently, and came across some silly emails that I had accumulated over the months. Because I have an office, I don't really get to chatter with the persons sitting around me, and for the most part, the people I'd chat with don't have their offices near mine anyway, so I have been known to resort to the odd email message once in a while just to take a mental time out.

Seeing as my typing abilities are currently limited, rather than delete those messages, I thought that sharing these senseless "outbursts" would serve to entertain while I get a keyboard that isn't defective. So, what you have here are a number of non-sequiturs that I like to throw out at my friends/co-workers now and then so as to keep the stress levels down or maybe because I just don't know how to censor myself in writing:

Monday, June 6

Subject: My head’s gonna explode.

I started the day with 11 files on my desk.

I meticulously worked through each file, resolving problems: Edit the P.O. to reflect the minimum purchase requirement; edit price on the next one; request delivery date on the third; research if item is approved on the next; etc., etc…

Slowly, I worked through them, changing, editing, cancelling, updating.

Slowly, I file them away.

Slowly, I get responses from vendors…

Slowly, I pull the files back out….

I now have the same dang 11 files on my desk, all needing some kind of update or awaiting some kind of research.

I’m going in circles here.

Every day I go through the same stinkin’ eleven files and can’t break out of that circle of activity. I was supposed to work on production today. I haven’t even looked at the production report, much less printed it out.

It’s like working on a carousel.

Tuesday, June 7

Re: And now a word from our local Art Historian

(Vendor’s email excerpt):

As long as the finish on the bottle […technical babble…] should work just fine on the bottle but may not have the best ascetic appearance.

• I’m guessing he meant “aesthetic” not “ascetic,” which means a completely different thing.
• In its truest definition, “aesthetic” is not a qualitative word. It’s not supposed to mean “beautiful”. It’s supposed to refer to an aspect of a physical description, like a building’s architecture, its façade, or its engineering. A building’s aesthetic refers to its appearance, but it can have a beautiful aesthetic as well as an unattractive one.
• Unfortunately, this word has been hijacked by the world and has been used synonymously with the word “beautiful” or “attractive” and nobody gives a crap anymore.

I do, dammit.

This concludes T.A.G.’s Art Rant for today.

Thursday, June 9

Subject: Humming along...

I was watching Big Love last night and now I have that hippy song stuck in my head: “God only knows what I’d be without youuuuuuuuu..”

I’m getting visuals of daisies and crap.

Thursday, June 9

Subject: aRGHHH

For the love of all that is holy! I ran my report this morning. It was 24 pages long. I’ve worked on the first 10 pages and [production supervisor] tells me he has [processed more] orders so it should be much smaller now.

So I refresh.

It is now 32 pages long!..... AAAAAAAAAAARgheeeeeeehhhhg!!!!

Turns out [Customer Service] entered about $100M worth of orders.

*sigh*

Ok. Page 1….

Thursday, June 23

Subject: And now for some physiological self-analysis

It’s possible that after 40 years of living on this planet and indulging in the fine elixir of life, that I’m discovering the distinct possibility of being allergic to milk.

Friday, June 24

Subject: I should just go home and start over.

I’m a god awful mess this fine morning:

• I think I brought a flea to work with me. At the slightest spike in temperature we enter flea season at the lovely T.A.G. Zoo. It appears that in her infinite generosity, Cleopatra has decided to share the wealth and gifted me one crafty little parasite.
• I usually wear one ring on my middle finger, left hand, and one ring on my ring finger, right hand. Today, I seem to be retaining water and the ring I was putting on my left hand was a bit snug so I moved it over to the ring finger. I now know that this is the equivalent of waterboarding for me. It seems my anatomy simply cannot reconcile the imbalance of a ring on a finger that I’ve never worn a ring on. Writing has become a nuisance (and I’m not even left handed) and I just can’t seem to go 2 minutes without fidgeting with it to try to adjust it. Clearly, the gods have made their case and this is yet another acute clue that marriage is not for me. I’ve finally taken the damned ring off.

Wednesday, July 6

Subject: Even Sanskrit's prettier

I usually have relatively decent writing. Today I’m having one of those days in which whatever gets down on paper looks like the frantic scribblings of the lecture hall classes of the college days.

It’s strange to watch your own fingers just (*raspberry*) right in front of you and not respond with the grace that’s in your head… “I meant to write a G… how’d that T get there?”

Friday, July 8

Re: Chair dancing, anyone?

I don’t know why this song always does it for me… the one about video dancing killing the radio star. It’s such a dorky song, but it’s catchy.

Friday, July 8

Subject: Further bulletins as events warrant

And then there’s the happy-peppy songs of Florence and the Machine. Chipper, inspirational songs about rich girls seizing the world.

Make you want to simultaneously join in and roll your eyes.

Thursday, July 15

Subject: Crud

Coffee on an empty stomach, after a week of questionable digestive health… stupid choice #1 of the day.

Feels like Luke and Darth are battling it out in there, with light sabers.

Tuesday, July 19

Subject: And now, for another episode of "What's in T.A.G.'s head"

• Dammit, I think I ate too much.
• I wonder if anyone would care if I just go barefoot for the rest of the day.
• How can we possibly need so many dang labels?
• It’s 12:42 and I’m still nursing this morning’s coffee.
• Maybe I’ll just run to the printer in my nekkid feet.
• Les Miserables tonight! Whoo hoo!
• Purchasing orders take for stinkin’ ever to issue.
• I continue to stay in my office so as to avoid a wardrobe malfunction.
• I’m not even supposed to be having coffee.

And this concludes another episode of “What’s on T.A.G.’s mind”. Stay tuned for further bulletins as events warrant.

Tuesday, July 19

Subject: Every hour, on the hour

Remember when you were in grade school?

Remember how you used to use wooden pencils?

Remember how they came with the little pink eraser at the end?

Remember how you would, inevitably, wear down the eraser long before the pencil?

Remember how you could get those funky triangular-shaped erasers that you could fit over the old eraser end?

Yeah, I need one of those right now.

Flashback

In junior high science, I became emotionally attached to the planaria in our petri dish after feeding it hard boiled egg.

Need Wins Out

'Member this? Well, the little rubber dot that was left in place of the right shift key just fell off so now all I have is this metallic plate with sensor-type lines moving through it. Sometimes it responds to my touch, and sometimes it doesn't.

Anyway, it's why I haven't been writing.

*Sigh*

Guess it's time to get that new laptop. I was in Best Buy yesterday and looked around. Everything is so bulky and shiny. I like neither. I think the only way to get a Lenovo is on line. Then I'll bring it in to Best Buy and have them transfer all my stuff and do all that "new computer set up" stuff that they do.

If anyone has any bright ideas or input on the matter, I'd appreciate it. I heard somewhere that in your bag of friends, you should always have a doctor, a lawyer, and an auto mechanic. I'd add computer geek to that list.

Today I Kicked My Boss's Ass

He had it coming.

Over the Hill... and Rolling Down the Other Side

The moment I turned 40, there was this audible click and a whirring noise that faded, at which point my warranty clearly expired and my body’s been trying to kill me ever since.

This internal agenda has been manifested in many and varied ways. Currently, I’m seeing things. Or I think I’m seeing things. Out of the right periphery of my right eye, I keep seeing what I think is dark grey smoke. Such is the convincing image that I actually jumped at one point, wondering if there was a fire on my bureau. There’s no fire. Just me and Cleo hanging out, watching Netflix.

This isn’t the first time my eyeballs trick me, but the only other time it has happened has been in the middle of one of the severest migraines I’ve had. The whole left side of my viewing plane was clouded over in a shimmery oval ring. I called my doctor and was given strict instructions to go straight to his office. I’d not really suffered from migraines in my life, but it seems my brain was gearing up for the aforementioned expiration of warranty. For a couple of years, there were a series of occasional head-explosions, though none of the severity of that infamous sight-confusing instance.

The smoke seems to have been a fluke. It’s possible I just saw a shadow of something move against my wall. Twice. In the exact same pattern and motion. And in the same place.

Whatever the case, I’m guessing I should take a cue and curl up in bed. So, I’m gonna wait until Cleo is done making her night rounds in the yard, calls me to let her in, and we are both ready to call it a day.

Time for beddy bye.

Need vs. Frivolity

The current state of my laptop:

• The dvd drive doesn't work anymore
• The four usb ports don't work
• The right shift key has popped off so when I want to capitalize, my pinkie has to fish for exactly the dot that shifts instead of the luxury of a large button
• I have gotten the blue screen of death more than once already

So, I'm entertaining the idea that it may be time to purchase a new one. However, the flat-screen that we got dad last month is only partially cherished by said giftee. He has announced that he wanted a bigger one. At which point I considered that maybe I'll buy the smaller one off of him and he can get whatever the heck size he wants.

Thus goes my current techno-dilemma of the moment.