Today I saw Bridesmaids with a friend. It wasn’t as funny as everyone was making it out to be. To hear all the noise, it would have me rolling in the aisles, and rolling, I was not. That’s not to say that it wasn’t funny. I did have quite the chuckle at many of the scenes, and I did very much enjoy the movie.
In general, though, I think it brought out the thought process the way moments in my life do. You all know how I over-analyze my life at the slightest jiggle. This movie made me think of the women in my life. I’ve been pretty blessed in this as in many aspects of my life.
I have the newest “acquisition” in the friend department, a client from my tutoring classes who’s interests, intelligence, and emotional generosity has transitioned her firmly into the “friend” category. Our classes evolved from structured lessons to casual conversations over coffee. Now, our weekly meetings are more social than educational and we’ve delved into activities outside of our schedule. Our friendship is all about theater productions and cultural events. We’ve discovered near identical interests and being the same age, a renewed energy for the coming decade.
Friends that I’ve made at work, both past and present, are slightly younger and keep me from taking myself too seriously. They can simultaneously share in my passion for nerdy interests, and then insist I step out of my comfort zone. These are the people I’ll lighten up and have a beer with even though I hate beer and am more of a wine girl with a big ‘ole stick up my butt. These are the women I can call up at a moment’s notice and pretty much know I can meet in half an hour. Just as single and uncommitted as I, we don’t have to check with husbands and children; we just slip on some shoes and head out the door.
Within that group is the very specific number of friends who share one particular bond. There are three of us. There used to be four. Losing one of us has been an experience that unifies us in a way few other experiences do. A second one of us has recently moved far enough away that socializing has been compromised. So the two of us that are left are holding on and reminding ourselves that we’ve been through some stuff together that no one else will ever understand. We knew someone once… You would have loved her.
Lastly, there are the cousins who double as sisters. I hate that we live so far from each other because we are finally at those ages where numbers don’t mean much anymore. All of my life, they’ve all been so much older than me that we were all going through very different stages in our lives. When I was in high school, they were getting married and having babies. When I was in college, they were dealing with mortgages and time-outs. As much as we’ve been in each other’s lives during holidays and events, for a long time it has felt like we have to start over every time we see each other. Getting caught up and getting the latest. But the babies are all grown up and some even have their own babies now. A whole generation has come along and we are still in each others’ periphery. I can see that having progressed into new chapters has the potential for a different relationship. We are all just women now. Women who have been through both difficult and blessed lives. Not only do I love them for being my family, but I actually like these women. I find them fascinating and inspiring. I respect what they’ve accomplished and am proud of their strength. I’m comforted that there has been a new effort to get back in touch and that there is more communication now.
Everyone should have someone they’ve known all their lives. It’s humbling. And everyone should have someone that challenges their status quo. It expands your life. I don’t plan on getting married, and I’ve always discouraged any friends to ever consider me for a bridesmaid. I cringe at the slightest hint of formal ceremony. But I do know that I like to look around, occasionally, and recognize the Kodak Moment of a day at the theater or sitting across from a friend at a dinner table. I think of my life as a series of really great little stories and I very much like my cast of characters.
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